Perfect Acts For the Imperfect Mind

 

Reminiscing the events that unfolded in the past days and trying to play them in my mind has been one hell of a herculean task for me.

What went wrong? what didn’t I do right? and what possibly could be the reason it happened?

In as much as we want explanations, reasons to believe and to gradually try to accept the loss.

It is indeed easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle than for a man to have his focus straight.

We gave our all but our all was not appreciated, we stood up in arms ready to fight for the people we loved but, in the end, the very people we were fighting for called a truce with the enemy and went to dine with him.

Indeed, it is quite disheartening to see someone you try as much as possible to render assistance to think you do not have a better use of your time, thus making you look foolish for going all out to see to the success of the project.

We make decisions not because we think it would be in our favour, we do so thinking of the second and third person we think are handicapped and fallen short in one way or the other. Decisions had to be made one way or the other and I’m glad it was made. Perhaps if we were patient enough in taking those decisions, then we could truly have been able to clear the doubts casted, the doubts which was so glaring even in the sight of the blind.

I understand this is just façade and a phase in life only some selected few would have to go through. If that being the truth then I would rather not wish this on my worst enemy. There is a lot more to betrayal, a lot more to the pains after the betrayal.

Depression isn’t about the state of the mind but rather the mere sight of seeing that the things you laboured to build all crumpling down, the walls that you managed to erect is not the same wall. Many at times, we are made to believe the lies that everything is ok and it is going to be alright but deep down we know its fallacy and will soon wake up to the reality.

Trust is broken not once and definitely not twice but on those numerous occasions, you made me look like a fool. Once bitten twice they say shy but, in my case, I was bitten on numerous occasions that I couldn’t have been able to differentiate between the worm and the snake.

 After all, our people said the one who had been bitten by the snake fears the worm. In retrospect, this idiom actually sounded stupid to my ears not because I refuse to regard education passed from generation to generation but it’s because I told myself that everyone deserves a lot of chances till he cannot redeem himself. At least I could have taken a cue from what others had gone through, from the bitter experiences of people who had come to air their pains to the public and to at least get a consolation.

Here I am in the corner of my dark room typing my thoughts away and expressing my misgivings that even myself find it difficult to comprehend, but alas I’m here happy and still getting the thought of negativity out. Hurtful people tend to embrace the brighter side even in the presence of negative energy, their aura smells of the tribulations they have been through but still attract the right spirits.

To everyone who feels the is no way you could overcome your hurt, pains and rejections, learn to seize your chance and paddle that canoe back to dry land.

Never say never until the bones are rotten!